When I found out about having CDH1 a lot of people told me I was so strong, and brave, and surprisingly calm considering my circumstances. None of those people knew what was really going on in my head, none of them knew the struggles I endured behind scenes. However, sometimes in life you are given a special person who, no matter what, stands with you through it all. For me, that person is Erin Valett (soon to be Erin Turner) :). I met Erin during orientation at college, this was before classes even started.They had us all gathered in groups and I remember sitting down at a table with three other girls in my designated group. We all went around telling each other where we were from, Erin said "I'm from Maryland", and I instantly felt like they put me and her in the same group on purpose because I also was from Maryland and we were attending school at The University of Southern Mississippi. I felt like the odds of them putting two people from Maryland in the same group was not fate, it was probably on purpose. However, I do think our friendship was fate. We could have simply met and gone our separate ways when orientation week was over, but we didn't. We ended up doing everything together and second semester freshman year we became roommates.
We shared everything with each other. I remember her laughing at me when I thought I had appendicitis and was laying on our dorm room floor freaking out over a small pain in my stomach. I remember us staying roommates through to sophomore year and every morning we would sneak inside the cafeteria in our dorm building and take the food back to our room because we would wear pajamas and didn't want boys to see us. I remember us getting dressed together and sharing clothes before we would go out to bars with each other. We met each others families and would visit each others homes in Maryland during summer and Christmas break. It didn't take long for us to become inseparable, I had found my soul mate of a best friend.
Erin left Southern Miss to transfer to The University of Kentucky after our sophomore year. It sucked knowing she was leaving. I felt like our friendship wouldn't last because of the distance. I had other friends yeah but Erin was my best friend, and she was leaving. I admit at first we didn't stay as close as I wish we had, we talked sometimes and she came to visit once or twice. I mean we both were in college living our lives, we did our best to keep in touch but we didn't talk everyday. However, when we did talk it was as if she had never left. We always picked things up right where we left things.
I told Erin about having CDH1 probably within an hour of me finding out. At the time she didn't really know much about it so she didn't have much to say except how sorry she was. And I don't blame her, at all. Half of the doctors I went to didn't even know what the gene was, I didn't expect Erin to know what it was magically. Over time though she started researching it and listening to me talk about it and I could tell that her outlook on the entire situation was changing. Her parents, who I am very close with, researched the gene and would tell her to pass along that they were thinking about me and how they were proud of me. I don't think they know how much those small actions meant to me. When I got married in December her parents sent me a card saying "We are so proud of you!" and I never told her but i held it and cried. I felt like I was a part of her family, I feel like me and Erin are blood. She has ALWAYS been by my side throughout anything that I needed. She stood next to me on my wedding, shes listened to me cry, she was there to visit me right after I got released from the hospital after my stomach removal to make sure that I was alright. I don't know if I have ever thanked you properly for everything you have done for me, but I know you are going to read this so just know that I am BEYOND thankful for you. For everything you have, and will continue, to do for me.
A little side note about Erin is that she loves tattoos, I remember seeing her with all her tattoos before I even had one and I thought she was just so cool in comparison to me. But none of Erins tattoos were visible. They were all on her ribs or in places that can easily be covered up. Then one day she told me that she wanted to get "Kia Kaha" tattooed on her arm to match mine. I quite literally was at a loss for words. First, this is the only tattoo she has that is super visible. Second, she was getting this tattoo as a dedication to me. I am crying just typing this and thinking back to the day she got it. We went into the tattoo parlor together, her fiance and my husband waited in the lobby and I went back with her. I promised her I wouldn't cry while she got it but I definitely teared up. They started to write the words on her skin, in permanent ink, and she just looked at me and I looked back at her. Even now months later as I try and find the words to explain how I felt I can't find any that give this action justice. She knows how much I have struggled, how much I have fought. You will always be my best friend. You will always be the Kia to my Kaha.
- This post is 100% dedicated to Erin Suzanne Valett (Turner)
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